If you've ever experienced anxiety, you'll know that it's not as simple as telling yourself to "stop worrying". Anxiety has a way of taking over our thoughts, making us imagine the worst, or leaving us feeling constantly on edge.
When we're anxious, our instinct is often to fight the feeling or push it away. We might tell ourselves to "pull ourselves together" or believe we should be coping better. Unfortunately, this often leaves us feeling even more frustrated and self-critical.
Instead of fighting anxiety, it can be more helpful to respond to it with curiosity and kindness. Anxiety is your mind and body's way of telling you that something doesn't feel safe or settled.
Listening to that message, rather than judging yourself for it, can be the first step towards feeling calmer.
Here are five gentle ways that may help:
1. Slow your breathing
When we feel anxious, our breathing often becomes quicker and shallower without us even noticing. Slowing your breathing can help send a message to your nervous system that you're safe.
Try breathing in gently through your nose for a count of four, then breathing out slowly for a count of six. Repeat this for a minute or two, without worrying about doing it perfectly.
2. Bring yourself back to the present moment
Anxiety often pulls us into the future, filling our minds with "what if...?" thoughts.
Grounding techniques can help bring your attention back to the here and now. You might notice five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
This simple exercise can help interrupt the cycle of anxious thinking and reconnect you with the present moment.
3. Move your body
You don't have to run a marathon to feel the benefits of movement.
A gentle walk, stretching, gardening, or even putting on your favourite music and dancing around the kitchen can help release some of the physical tension that anxiety creates.
Choose something that feels enjoyable rather than another task on your to-do list.
4. Speak to yourself with compassion
Many people living with anxiety are incredibly hard on themselves.
Notice how you speak to yourself when you're struggling. Would you say those same words to someone you care about?
Try replacing self-criticism with something gentler, such as:
"I'm finding today difficult, and that's okay."
"I'm doing the best I can right now."
Self-compassion isn't about ignoring difficulties. It's about responding to them with understanding rather than judgement.
5. Remember that you don't have to cope alone
Sometimes anxiety settles as life becomes less stressful or when we make small changes to our daily routine.
Sometimes it doesn't.
If anxiety is beginning to affect your relationships, work, sleep, or enjoyment of life, talking things through with someone can help you understand what's keeping it going and find ways of managing it.
Counselling offers a confidential space to explore your experiences at your own pace, without judgement and without pressure.
One small step is enough
You don't need to try all of these ideas today.
Choose one.
See how it feels.
Then perhaps try another tomorrow.
Managing anxiety isn't about getting everything right. It's about taking small, compassionate steps towards looking after yourself.
Next Steps
If something in this article has resonated with you, and you feel ready to explore things further, counselling can offer a safe and confidential space to talk through what you’re experiencing.
I offer a free 20-minute initial consultation where we can talk about what’s been going on for you, answer any questions you may have, and explore whether counselling feels like the right support.
There is no pressure to decide anything during this initial conversation. It is simply an opportunity to talk, ask any questions you may have, and see whether counselling feels like the right support for you.